Disco cook

Our kitchen floor is nasty.

Everyone has seen the kind of carpet tiles, very thin cord, about two foot square, laid out like a chequerboard.  In our case the tiles are in chocolate brown and a muddier brown.  At least they were 30 odd years ago.

At the edges, away from the units, they are just ugly.  You can even see the original colours.

But as you get closer to the middle of the room and over to the units, they get thinner, and darker, and shinier, and stickier.  If you go to the sink in your socks, you stick.  You pick up your feet as you walk and your socks take that extra split second to follow.  Woe betide anyone who needs to kneel down to find something in the cupboard under the sink.

I told a mum at swimming.  She grinned broadly: “Like a nightclub floor!”  Then she was lost in a moment’s reverie.  I doubt she’s been to a nightclub this century, but she remembered, and she was right.

Maybe we should hang the glitter ball in the kitchen.